I adopted Cleo in October 2001 from the Animal Humane Society. She was an 8-10 week old kitten. I wanted a kitten because my 5 year old cat Frito had recently died from Feline Vaccine Associated Sarcoma and I did not want to deal with death again for a long time. When I visited with Cleo in the visiting room she was very mellow. She was not a wild kitten. She just rolled with the flow.
That was Cleo’s personality throughout her life. She was a mellow kitten, but she never slowed down until recent years. She continued to play like she did when she was a kitten until recent years. When people came over, they told me Cleo was the most curious cat they ever saw (Frito was very curious too- they said the same thing about her!). They also told me she was the most active older cat they ever saw.
I remember Cleo as a little kitten hopping into Frito’s old litter box which was a little too high, but she always used it. Cleo’s favorite spot in the house was on top of the microwave. I am not sure why. I assumed it was because she could see almost every room in the house from there — the kitchen, dining area, living area, and computer room from there. The only room she couldn’t see into was my bedroom. I nicknamed the microwave her “command post” from how she sat there for long periods watching what went on. She liked to play laser light and she had a lot of toys. She especially liked the banana, toy mice, balls, and cat tracks.
Cleo was very intelligent. She liked heat. If I opened and closed the microwave door, she knew that noise meant the top of the microwave would get warm so she would come running and jump up on the microwave. If the furnace kicked on, she knew that noise meant warm air would come out of a floor register so she would go running to the floor register closest the the furnace and lay on it. In the winter, she would sometimes sleep there just basking in the warm air.
The only things Cleo did not like were going to the Veterinarian, riding in the car, and the vacuum cleaner.
In February 2015 Cleo was diagnosed with CKD or Chronic Kidney Disease. I wrote a diary about it at the time — here. Cleo and I were lucky far as CKD goes. Cleo would eat the prescription kidney food some cats won’t because it is bland. And for 5 ½ years her CKD was low maintenance. I did not have to do anything except feed her the prescription kidney food and take her to the Vet every 6 months for routine kidney labs. I would sometimes ask my Veterinarian “How long will she live?” She told me while Cleo was very stable, sometimes CKD cats are stable but one day they go downhill rapidly.
And that’s what happened. The first sign was I would find clumps of cat hair all over. I never used to. The second sign was Cleo would still eat, but she would leave some and that never happened before. Cleo saw the Veterinarian on Sept 10, and she immediately noticed Cleo was not grooming herself well and that’s why I was finding clumps of hair. Her Creatinine had risen from 3.7 to 6.4, BUN 83, SDMA 33, but she had all normal electrolytes (PH 4.4, Ca 10.9, K 4.3 Na 154) and no anemia (HCT 31.6, WBC 10, HGB 10.6, RBC 7.0). Ironically, her weight was unchanged at 8.5 lbs. The decreased appetite was very recent.
My Veterinarian prescribed periodic fluids, an appetite stimulant, and Cerenia. Unfortunately, this did not halt Cleo’s slide. In the next week, Cleo had a lot of ups and downs but the trend was clearly down. She would sometimes just nibble at food other times she ate better. Her behavior was also up and down. She would sometimes walk slowly or hang her head. But other times she perked up. She played laser light a little on Sunday the 13th. She did not withdraw or hide.
Cleo died on September 17th. She seemed especially lethargic that afternoon. She was sleeping on top of the microwave. She tried to get up and I noticed she was having a little trouble getting up. She jumped down and tried to sleep on a nearby chair. She then began howling as if in distress. She got down and started walking around wobbly. She then jumped up on the sofa and tried to curl up only to start howling again. She then jumped down and ran frantically into the litter box and curled up in the back of the litter box howling.
I took Cleo to the Emergency Vet. They told me she threw a blood clot in either her rear legs or her back and that’s why she was walking wobbly. The Veterinarian said she was in a lot of pain and she was very sick and recommended I put Cleo to sleep. I was not given an option B. I don’t know what the Veterinarian would have said if I asked for an option B. I did not because I knew it was “time.”
When I adopted Cleo in 2001, I was determined she grow up to be a healthy cat. I knew of someone who had an 8 year old cat that developed diabetes. He had the cat put to sleep because he did not want to deal with a diabetic cat. In a way, I understood. I did not know if I could handle injecting an animal with a needle every day. I was determined to never be in that situation. That’s why I portion fed Cleo instead of feeding her free choice. I kept her at her ideal body weight — between 8 lbs and 9 lbs — all her adult life. That’s why she always had routine dental cleanings.
I was lucky to have Cleo and she was lucky to have me. In Cleo, I had a best friend. I had someone who loved me unconditionally. I didn’t have to do anything to earn it except love her back. I might not have even had to do that. Animals love us unconditionally and how do we treat them???? We destroyed this planet, not them. Cleo lived 19 years. I am not sure she would have lived to be 19 years old in many homes. Cleo’s 19 years were all quality years, except for her last week.
How many people have had to put a pet sleep? I guess grieving is a process? I find myself staring at her picture a lot. Also, I’ve found myself walking over to the microwave to pet her only to realize she isn’t there. When I get in bed to take a nap or go to sleep I realize Cleo isn’t coming. The house feels different without her there. It feels empty. A friend visited me and noted the same thing. This house does not feel the same without Cleo. For 19 years just Cleo and I lived here.
Cleo, you will always be a part of me. You may be gone now, but you will never be forgotten. You made me a better person. You were loved more than you could ever know but I am sure you know that because I told you many times.