I got a speeding ticket for the first time in many years and I blame Donald Trump. Our new president has taught me one thing since he took control of our government: There are no facts any longer; there are only alternative facts. Here is one of my alternative facts: Donald Trump should have to pay for my speeding ticket. He has me so stressed out about where this country is going I didn’t even realize that I was driving 60 miles per hour (of course I have exaggerated for impact) in a 30 mile zone.
Donald Trump has taught me that there is no reason in America to tell the truth any longer. All you have to do is to continue denying every fact as being not true and nothing happens. Worse, everyone begins to believe the untruth (and when they don’t, they accept it anyway which is almost as bad). Just say, no! the Sun did not rise this morning even when it did, and 62, 979,879 people will agree with you.
So, either pay up Donald Trump, or I’m going to start throwing back at you some really big alternative facts. Two can play at his game. And I have a better imagination than you.