How many times have you seen someone apologize and knew their heart wasn't in it? They weren't the least bit sincere? Or, they qualified their apology? Or. somehow in their apology, they manage to say it wasn't their fault, it was someone or everyone else's fault?
Brainwrap gave us an example of how to sincerely apologize. He laid out what he felt he had done that wronged an individual. He took responsibility for His errors. He granted that others had made errors, but didn't allow that to let himself off the hook.
Are you able to be that honest? Or do you qualify every apology? We've all commented about those apologies from politicians or celebrities where the first thing they do is qualify with the statement; "If I've offended anyone...". Jackass! Of course you offended someone. Why do you think your handlers said you need to offer an apology? But your ego just won't let you simply say; "I'm sorry." You have to qualify it or lay the blame on someone else, the proverbial "throwing someone under the bus" excuse. Chickenshit. Coward. Asshole!
If you're going to apologize OWN IT! Or don't bother to apologize.
What the hell prompted all of this? A personal experience with a medical professional. It was a second visit to the ER over a 5 mm kidney stone.
I'll admit I'm not an easy patient when it comes to the pain involved associated with an attack of a kidney stone. I try to keep it light, but I DO cuss like a sailor. I try to limit it to single words, like; "SHIT!" "FUCK!" "DAMN!" with an occasional; "FUCK A DUCK!" thrown in. The problem is among the exhortations I'm either hyperventilating or holding my breath(both are involuntary reactions). I try to remember to breath, I try to do my childbirth breathing exercises, but then the pain crushes the effort and I'm back to holding my breath or hyperventilating. The problem with hyperventilating or holding your breath is it throws your O2 levels off. Anyway...
What happened the weekend before last (Sunday the 17th) was I had to make a second visit to the ER before a Monday morning visit to my urologist. The first visit had occurred Sunday afternoon around 5PM. I was discharged around 7PM after being medicated and sent home with a prescription for a very strong pain medication and the schedule of how often I could take said medication. The time between pain medicine application was insufficient to hold back the intensity of the pain. My pain kept breaking thru the scheduled dosing. So sometime around 1 AM I ended up going back to the ER. (There would be one more visit to the ER, this time at a different hospital where my procedure, a laser cystoscopy was scheduled for Tuesday AM).
It was this 1-1:30 visit to the ER that didn't go so well. There's some dispute as to the timing of events (mine vs the Doc's), but there really isn't a dispute about the events. When I went back to the examining room I sat for over half an hour or more without the doctor ordering any medication for pain relief. Even the nurse was embarrassed that she couldn't provide relief because the orders hadn't been issued by the doctor.
Also, I had yet to see the doctor. Finally the order was issued and I was given (IV) a pain medication and an anti-inflammatory (Toradol). Relief was within minutes. 10-15 minutes later, the doctor shows up. We have a discussion about the days events and the I ask her directly about my previously prescribed pain medication and the frequency with which it could be taken. (This is where the wheels really fell off the bus.) She told me without blinking an eye, that if I took the medication more frequently than originally prescribed; "You'll stop breathing." I responded, okey dokey, that's a good reason not to take it more frequently than prescribed. The problem is she lied. The lie was put to her statement by my urologist after the laser cystoscopy. He wrote a prescription for the very same medication and cut the frequency rate by half. From every 4 hours to every two hours for pain as needed.
That was it! That was the last straw. I was officially pissed. See, what I haven't stated before was the attitude of the doctor the whole time was one of arrogance and condescension which I had been willing to let pass. But the lie was just too much to let pass. So I wrote a letter to her supervisor (who happened to be the ER physician I had seen earlier on my 5PM visit to the ER). He called and thanked me for my input and apologized for his colleagues behavior. Thanks Doc! I thought.
Then I got the email from the hospital group for the post visit survey. I filled it out. Then yesterday I got a call from the supervising ER doctor again. (The call didn't go through so he left a message.) He apologized again for the emailed apology from the 2nd ER doc. I hadn't checked my email in days and had no idea what he was talking about. So I went and looked for it. HOLY CRAP!
She started off great; "I'm sorry." But then went on to explain that none of it was her fault. And btw, she checked with the pharmacist and she was right about the medication. WHAaaa? Really? She blamed the nurse and other staff for shortcomings. She explained how busy she was with the only other patient in the ER and why she couldn't see me any quicker. WOW!
So I called the supervising doctor back and explained that I hadn't seen the "apology" until he had pointed it out. He again apologized for her behavior and expressed his appreciation my candor and input.
So there you have it, two apologies. One sincere and the other blaming everyone else and accepting no responsibility.
The floor is open!
On with the games!!
Mojo Friday Guidelines
Disclaimer; Kinda like the Pirates Code, they're just guidelines, meant for fun. They aren't hard and fast rules.
1) If you comment you have to recommend all comments. (in order to receive mojo you have to give mojo. It's only good mojo manners.)
2) Everything you say may be taken as a joke (so if you ask a question, expect a silly answer)
3) You must recommend the diary (and pimp it unapologetically)
4) You don't have to comment to recommend.
5) You can't steal my idea (right, like that ain't goin' to happen. It has in numerous forms, I'm flattered!)
6) Mojo mojo mojo mojo, mojo mojo mojo.
7) TexDem (that's me) is not bound by the guidelines. Neither are you
Mojo Friday Goals
Disclaimer; These are mostly here for nostalgia, the site has changed so much and the servers have been upgraded to the point I don't think we could fuck with the site with 1000 people participating. 2007 it ain't.
A. At least 300 different commenters and 1000 comments by 1:30 PM EST and 1500 by 5:00 PM EST Friday Night that it's posted.
B. 100 recommends for each comment, at least.
C. Stay on Recommend List at least five hours (this requires some strategic planning by you guys, refer to guideline #3)
D. At least 200 diary recommends. 300 would be better, spread the word.
E. And always, fun fun fun.
F. Have at least 75% average participation rate as seen here in the Mojo Friday Postgame Show by Woodtick and bjedward.
G. (New) Have at least 30 kossacks over 90% participation (see here for some tips).
H. Overload the servers with recommends, not to mention dominate Top Comments Mojo list. (we do tend to mess with the site with all of our recommends at one time)(also, to dominate the Top Comments Top Mojo we need at least 50 comments with over 200 recommends, see guideline B)
I. That's enough for now. (Have a suggestion? Post it.)
MKinTN posted a diary to help everyone achieve greater success called How to Succeed at Mojo Friday Without Really Trying.
For those of you new to MF (Mojo Friday) we have our own lingo about a few things. Thank's to MF'er Jez (the link will explain) go to this diary for a little more fun and explanation. Official Mojo Friday Snecktionary.